Writing Revision for the Kavakian Empire

I’ve gotten a little sidetracked with my story. I haven’t been writing the story because I have been working on the outline. It’s not a basic outline but a very detailed one. You see, I’ve had this story in my head for some time. I know every detail of it. And so I want to write it down so I won’t forget any of those details. I’m also a bit stuck. Let me explain.

Even though I am writing this story for myself, I’ve come to realize that the story I’ve been posting is boring. I don’t have enough tension. So I am considering how I am going to continue in order to keep readers engaged.

One idea I have is to add a little mystery to Jori’s intentions. When I’ve told the story from his perspective, it is easy for the reader to determine what his intensions are. But what if I take out his perspective? What if the reader is just as much in the dark about his intentions as the other characters are? Wouldn’t that add some tension? I certainly think so. He is their enemy. And even though he is a child, he can be dangerous.

While typing out the outline, I have also been reconsidering revising the first few chapters. This is a real process for writers. Often what we write doesn’t come out the way we want and we are constantly rewriting, adding new elements, or taking elements out. If you could edit this story, what would you change?

(I have rewritten chapter 5. Please go back and read it before continuing with the story next week.)

 

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