Help – I Need Tips & Feedback for My Sci-Fi Story

Space Ship

I know you’ve only read up to chapter 30 of part one of my sci-fi story so far, but I am actually done writing the revised version. The revised version is not the final version, however. I have been given a lot of feedback from beta readers and so will be writing up a final version over the next month or two. But first, I need a little help from you.

Series Title?

First of all, I need to decide on the series title. I’ve been calling this the Kavakian Empire but I realized Kavakian may sound like Kevorkian, who is a U.S. doctor that assisted terminally ill patients in committing suicide. But Kavak is also Jori and Terk’s family name through their father, the emperor. Since all the books in this series will be about them, the Kavakian Empire makes sense. However, if it is not appealing, I can either change their family name or I can change the name of the series. What do you think?

Book One Title?

At first I was calling book one, Edge of the Dragon’s Shadow. But I didn’t think it sounded like a sci-fi. Then I remembered that Jori had fired a weapon called the StarFire. And I realized their serpent ship didn’t have a name (serpent is a type of ship, not a name), so I thought I would also call it StarFire. And since Jori and Terk’s father is also referred to as the Dragon Emperor, I though StarFire Dragons sounded interesting. But the word dragon also has a fantasy meaning. What do you think?

J.D.’s Name?

When I first wrote this, J.D. was named J.T. But then I realized J.T. sounded like James T., as in James T. Kirk. After going with J.D., it was pointed out to me that reading a name with initials is too jarring for a reader. And it can be confusing if J.D. is at the end of a sentence; meaning, do I type, “Hi J.D.” or “Hi J.D..” with two periods? So, should I change J.D.’s name again? If so, here are the names I am thinking: Jairo, which means a person who enlightens; Jovani, which means god is merciful; Jeff – short for Jeffrey and means peaceful; Jayvin, which doesn’t really have a meaning but I like how it sounds; Galen, which is very different but I like how it sounds and it means calm or peaceful, which J.D. is. What do you think of these names?

Names in General

Do you perceive the Alliance ship and crew as a military crew? I pictured them more like Star Trek where they can act in a military capacity, but they are also a diplomatic ship with civilians on board. But if they are viewed more as military, then should everyone be addressed by last names instead of first names, even when they are referring to themselves? So J.D. would call himself Hapker all the time and Robert would refer to himself as Arden. I personally don’t like this idea, but I have been being inconsistent. Bracht goes by his first name, but only because his last name is so hard to pronounce. Hanna Sharkey is sometimes called Hanna or Sharkey. There is a character in my second book named Harley Brahm and I refer to him as Harley because it sounds better. Jori and Terk’s crew are never defined by first or last names. Also, I worry that by addressing everyone by their last name that it will be difficult to distinguish their gender. What do you think?

Tech Ideas

I’m not a scientist and my comprehension of how even the most basic types of tech work eludes me. So I need some tech ideas I can add. I don’t want anything too complicated, but nor do I want it to be too simple. Also, I need better names for the tech items I did mention, like digiview, vid-lense, and others.

I’ve been told the Chekrosian’s ability to go through walls isn’t scientifically possible… or at least, they way I described it isn’t possible. I really need help with the tech ideas.

Accents or Ways of Speaking

I don’t want all my characters to sound the same so I need to differentiate the way each character speaks. I can do with with word choices, sentence structures, jargon, or with accents. With accents, though, I’ve been told people don’t like to read accents. I had created Jenna Stein with the intent of trying to have her speak with an accent, but it didn’t work well. I mentioned how she pronounces her w’s with a v sound, but if I typed it out like that, would it make it hard to read? “I vas vatching the boys and they vere acting veird.” I’d think this would be difficult to read… tiresome even. What do you think? Should I avoid having my characters speak with accents?

There are many other things I need to fix, but most of those I will need to figure out on my own. If you could help me with the above, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you for reading my science fiction saga (which started out as a novella but has turned into a full story). Keep reading every Saturday and be sure to follow my blog so you can find out when the book is finally done and published.

Dawn Ross

 

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