Archive for beta

Conclusion to StarFire Dragons: Part One of the Kavakian Empire

Posted in Sci-Fi Part 1 - Revised, The Kavakian Empire with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 8, 2016 by Dawn Ross

If you’ve gotten this far, then you like my science fiction story. Do you like it well enough to buy it? Great! Because will be ready to buy soon. Right now, it’s being reviewed by beta readers and edited by a professional. I will let you know as soon as it’s published.

“What? You mean I have to buy it in order to find out the end?” you say.

I bet you feel cheated, like I’ve dangled a free story over you like a carrot and then whacked you with the stick instead.

Before you send me a nasty email, let me explain myself. I’ve worked long and hard on this science fiction novella. I’ve worked many hours, days, weeks, months, and even more than a year on it. Now let me ask you… If you wrote a book or even created a piece of art or composed some music, wouldn’t you want to get paid for it? Of course you would! It’s only fair, right?

My intent is not to cheat you. In fact, part of the reason for posting this free version of my sci-fi novel is to keep from cheating people. How so? Well, have you ever purchased a book that really sucked, that sucked so badly you could barely get through to page 10? By giving the first 3/4 of my story for free, I’ve given people the opportunity to decide whether they like it or not. And so I say again, if you’ve gotten this far then you like it.

So please help an artist out. Encourage me to finish Part Two by purchasing Part One of the Kavakian Empire: StarFire Dragons. And keep me excited about writing so that I write even more of this continuing space opera saga (which I already have mostly mapped out).

Thank you for your consideration.

Dawn Ross

Help – I Need Tips & Feedback for My Sci-Fi Story

Posted in Sci-Fi Part 1 - Revised, The Kavakian Empire with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 12, 2016 by Dawn Ross

Space Ship

I know you’ve only read up to chapter 30 of part one of my sci-fi story so far, but I am actually done writing the revised version. The revised version is not the final version, however. I have been given a lot of feedback from beta readers and so will be writing up a final version over the next month or two. But first, I need a little help from you.

Series Title?

First of all, I need to decide on the series title. I’ve been calling this the Kavakian Empire but I realized Kavakian may sound like Kevorkian, who is a U.S. doctor that assisted terminally ill patients in committing suicide. But Kavak is also Jori and Terk’s family name through their father, the emperor. Since all the books in this series will be about them, the Kavakian Empire makes sense. However, if it is not appealing, I can either change their family name or I can change the name of the series. What do you think?

Book One Title?

At first I was calling book one, Edge of the Dragon’s Shadow. But I didn’t think it sounded like a sci-fi. Then I remembered that Jori had fired a weapon called the StarFire. And I realized their serpent ship didn’t have a name (serpent is a type of ship, not a name), so I thought I would also call it StarFire. And since Jori and Terk’s father is also referred to as the Dragon Emperor, I though StarFire Dragons sounded interesting. But the word dragon also has a fantasy meaning. What do you think?

J.D.’s Name?

When I first wrote this, J.D. was named J.T. But then I realized J.T. sounded like James T., as in James T. Kirk. After going with J.D., it was pointed out to me that reading a name with initials is too jarring for a reader. And it can be confusing if J.D. is at the end of a sentence; meaning, do I type, “Hi J.D.” or “Hi J.D..” with two periods? So, should I change J.D.’s name again? If so, here are the names I am thinking: Jairo, which means a person who enlightens; Jovani, which means god is merciful; Jeff – short for Jeffrey and means peaceful; Jayvin, which doesn’t really have a meaning but I like how it sounds; Galen, which is very different but I like how it sounds and it means calm or peaceful, which J.D. is. What do you think of these names?

Names in General

Do you perceive the Alliance ship and crew as a military crew? I pictured them more like Star Trek where they can act in a military capacity, but they are also a diplomatic ship with civilians on board. But if they are viewed more as military, then should everyone be addressed by last names instead of first names, even when they are referring to themselves? So J.D. would call himself Hapker all the time and Robert would refer to himself as Arden. I personally don’t like this idea, but I have been being inconsistent. Bracht goes by his first name, but only because his last name is so hard to pronounce. Hanna Sharkey is sometimes called Hanna or Sharkey. There is a character in my second book named Harley Brahm and I refer to him as Harley because it sounds better. Jori and Terk’s crew are never defined by first or last names. Also, I worry that by addressing everyone by their last name that it will be difficult to distinguish their gender. What do you think?

Tech Ideas

I’m not a scientist and my comprehension of how even the most basic types of tech work eludes me. So I need some tech ideas I can add. I don’t want anything too complicated, but nor do I want it to be too simple. Also, I need better names for the tech items I did mention, like digiview, vid-lense, and others.

I’ve been told the Chekrosian’s ability to go through walls isn’t scientifically possible… or at least, they way I described it isn’t possible. I really need help with the tech ideas.

Accents or Ways of Speaking

I don’t want all my characters to sound the same so I need to differentiate the way each character speaks. I can do with with word choices, sentence structures, jargon, or with accents. With accents, though, I’ve been told people don’t like to read accents. I had created Jenna Stein with the intent of trying to have her speak with an accent, but it didn’t work well. I mentioned how she pronounces her w’s with a v sound, but if I typed it out like that, would it make it hard to read? “I vas vatching the boys and they vere acting veird.” I’d think this would be difficult to read… tiresome even. What do you think? Should I avoid having my characters speak with accents?

There are many other things I need to fix, but most of those I will need to figure out on my own. If you could help me with the above, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you for reading my science fiction saga (which started out as a novella but has turned into a full story). Keep reading every Saturday and be sure to follow my blog so you can find out when the book is finally done and published.

Dawn Ross